remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
