is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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