6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
