i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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