from now on my penis is your penis
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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