dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
