watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
