I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
