i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
