I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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