Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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