Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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