she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm sobbing to NWA
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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