just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
