i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
