she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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