One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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