He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
