That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
