Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
