u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize