he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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