real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
