he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
