you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
