Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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