i would punch a child for taco bell
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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