I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
