can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Bring me that man meat
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
