I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
