I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
