shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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