So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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