chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
me + whiskey = a bad person
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize