Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
