haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
