Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
