I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
