How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
