Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
two words: eviction party
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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