I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
