We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
areolas are like halos for boobs.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize