Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize