There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
