I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
