There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
40s are totally the cure
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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