she smelled like a LAN party
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
