I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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