He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize