I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
