The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
