piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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