there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My life is pants optional.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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