thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
