We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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