Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
