so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
