haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Randomize
