making cat noises will not fix the situation.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm always down for nudity.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
