I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
