Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
