In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
