this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
