I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
