Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize