I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
