So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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