It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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