He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
