Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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