I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
